Happy Birthday Terry

Amanda says happy birthday too. I am so sorry we are going to miss your day, but I hope we can celebrate again after we return home. We love you!

A trip to Nevski Cathedral

July 4th we were both rather tired, we have some new neighbors here who slam doors, and stay up until 3 or 4 AM, they also smoke in their room, a no no, but it seems they just do not care about rules. So we woke up after a bad nights sleep and neither of us were in a great mood.

I got out Amanda's Independence day tee and put it on her, tried to take some photos of her smiling on her first 4th of July, well I never did get her to smile.

I ended up with a headache and we both slept a little more than we should have. I was also more than a little depressed about spending the 4th without my family and it is just another day here. So headachy, tired, and homesick, I just could not post to the blog.

Today was different, she was so happy today she could not contain her joy; giggling, playing, huggging me, and just being a happy little girl.

We enjoyed our morning out, she put up with a bumpy ride and mommy picking up the stroller to get into shops. She even behaved in a glass shop.

Visa in hand, but we stay put for now

In less than two weeks we have completed our adoption here, Igor is our hero! He is efficiency personified and the fastest walker since Anatoly in Ukraine. They both leave we chubby Americans in their wake. Amanda is coming alive before my eyes, I do not think that it is because of anything I do, but that she is more comfortable with me and is acting more like her usual self.

I have been looking for something special to take home to my kids, these dolls are sweet, but not what I had in mind, anyone who adopted here have a good place we can walk to? We are in the Suur Karja region, taking the tram or bus will be OK if we know exactly where we are headed.
I just got off the phone with my family, looks like Amanda and I will stay here even though we have her Visa. Delta said the soonest they can get us on another flight is Tuesday and it will be $200 more in fees, not really worth it to me to come home two days sooner. We had not talked to Estonian Air yet either, so would have to add their charges on to that. I was prepared to stay another week, we will find plenty to do I am sure. There is so much here I want to see, I know Amanda will not remember, but I want to take photos for her.

She has had a good day today, played, laughed, came for hugs, let me kiss her a few times and smiled at me. We went to Mall again for groceries, Amanda had ran out of diapers, whew, they are expensive here! I pushed a stroller and a basket at the same time, it was so hard in the crowded store. I ran into so many people, very embarrassing. I said "Excuse me" and "I'm sorry" way too many times, it was a relief to check out, I could not believe our bill was almost $350.00 Kroon, it seemed like so much money to me yet it was really only $35.00.

I bought a can of Pringles, they were wonderful, so crisp and they tasted like America to me, I never eat Pringles, but they were familiar. I am sad to say I have not eaten anything distinctly Estonian, I cook dinner every night and have cheese and cured meats for breakfast. Of course there is also nice tea, Estonian rice and corn flakes, and orange juice. I give both yogurts to Amanda. I usually have an egg too, but it was not included this morning. I really love the brown bread they serve, I make a open-faced sandwich using it, the ham, cheese, and cucumbers.

I had a hard time getting Amanda to go to bed tonight, she usually goes down with no complaint, but today she rocked her playpen all the way across the floor, banging against the wall adjoining the apartment next door. Too bad it was so early, she could keep our neighbors up like they did me...OK, not nice, but they were terribly rude in the wee hours this morning.

Can you believe that tongue, I am amazed how long it is and yet she keeps it in her mouth most of the time.It comes out when she is happy and playing, so seeing it is a good sign. LOL She was trying to stand up, letting go of the furniture repeatedly and balancing a bit before she fell on her bottom. She is trying very hard, I was good to see she had good stamina for the exertion.

We get Amanda's visa today

OK Gymboree friends, i am line mixing. :o) I dd not bring a lot of things and the pants are too large for sweet Amanda. The top that is falling off of her is a 2T.

She has so many precious expressions, such a beautiful little face. She can also make a face that looks like Popeye, it makes us laugh. I have not caught it yet.

Laughing and playing with mama. She really is beginning to get used to being here, to her, this is home, and she will be moved yet again. You can tell she is happy to get here, she squeals with happiness when I sit her on the floor and immediately crab crawls to her toys.

You can see that she is a tall little girl, so many tall and very thin women here, I feel so short and fat around them. I so need to get back to work and lose some weight.

Yes, the sleeves hang past her arms, she kept pulling them back, finally changed her into a different outfit when we went to get her Visa.

I loved her in this pose, she looks so childlike and vulnerable, makes you want to protect her.

The kitchen is her favorite place, she looks at her reflection on the oven door and smiles and laughs. She also opens and shuts the drawer repeatedly and squeals at at pitch think only dogs can hear. :o)

I really do love this apartment, it is so spacious and very clean, pretty. The elevator is puny, the locks drive me nuts, but it is a very special place.

We can pick up the Visa tomorrow!

Our adoption journey is almost complete.

Andrea, all of my envelopes are empty now, before I left Andrea said she organized all of her payments in envelopes, it was a good system, and now mine are empty, which means we have done all of our paperwork, paid our fees and now we await Amanda's visa. I have not even been here two weeks, this is incredible!

Once I have the visa in my hands we will see what we can do to leave Estonia a little earlier, but that is dependant on the cost to change the tickets. If it is too costly, we will stay until July 10Th. I admit part of me wants to stay to see more of this beautiful city, but I also miss my family.

I am so happy and relieved I feel like pinching myself, I so wish Ukraine would adopt a simplified adoption process, it was so terribly stressful to go through their very complicated system ( though I did enjoy my time with Yelena).

Igor said he and Signe simplified Estonia's adoption process a couple of years ago, and I am very grateful for their hard work. I understand why parents say it is easier to adopt in Estonia, but I think you need to adopt from a more difficult place to truly appreciate the ease.

Either way, long process or short; God has blessed us with two beautiful daughters and we are thankful to their home countries for trusting us to be Kara and Amanda's forever family.

In 2006 when I got up the courage to ask about a little girl named Eve (who turned out to be a boy named Evan) I never thought I would be the Mom to two new daughters from two different countries in less than 2 years time. This is such a miracle for me, for us, and I am so happy we listened with our hearts instead of letting rationalizations and naysayers preventing us from going on this journey.

Now we need to get back home safely and start on our new lives with Amanda. Hope she is ready for three sisters, four brothers, a dog, a few cats and a completely different climate! She has our hearts already.

Passport and Medicals done

Our first stop was the passport office, Amanda now has her Estonian passport.

Next stop was the doctors office; I tried to call the Embassy to get information on a waiver for Amanda's immunizations before we left, but they did not open until 9:00 and Amanda and I had to leave at 8:45. So she received her Meningococcal and Pneumococcal vaccinations, the Hep A will wait until we get home as it was not available here.

Her medical records report that she did have genetic testing to confirm her Down syndrome, they also report that she has/has had neonatal cardiomyopathy, it states: The researchers also found an inborn heart failure-DAP and FoA. The heart failure is clinically compensated, they are no symptoms of cardiac insufficiency. Now I have no idea what DAp or FoA are, they are not typical western medical terms.

Amanda will definitely need a full cardiology exam to determine the extent of her heart defects, but it surely is not what we had been told or read about her previously. Her information said she had surgical correction and was stable, Amanda has never had any surgery. This is why it is important for all of us adopting to realize that information about children can be sketchy and/or inaccurate. Still, we accept our new daughter regardless of what these reports indicate, and will have to get a true picture of her health issues once home. Could this be why she is so tiny and frail?

Please pray for our little Amanda, I am now nervous about her flying. Andrea has lent us a portable pulse oximeter which will be invaluable for the trip back to Tucson. i have seen nothing to indicate she is struggling, and her medical examination did not, so we hope for the best possible outcome.

These days are bound to happen

When I think about where Amanda was a little over a week ago and how well she is doing considering that, I am amazed at her ability to accept change. Monday June 23 she was taken from her only home and given to complete strangers, her life as she knew it was changed forever. She did not know we wanted to take her home to give her a life with a loving family, sisters and brothers to play with, or a school to attend. She just knew her beloved caregivers were gone.

I have to keep reminding myself that she does not know me. I dreamed about her, grew to love her little face, and she has been a part of my life for almost 10 months now. Yet I knew nothing of who she truly was. Still, I felt like I knew her when I saw her grumpily eating her last meal at the orphanage! That little face all scrunched in displeasure should have been a clue that Miss Amanda has an eating disorder of some kind. (no I don't mean anorexia or anything like that)

I wrote what I did in the blog today because I was trying to be true to our journey by reporting how we feel during it. I have read blogs where everything is coming up roses, believe me, they leave out a lot in them, adoption journeys have ups and downs, sometimes a lot, sometimes all in one day. Sure I have only adopted two times, but I think that I have talked to enough adoptive parents to make that statement.

I don't want anyone worrying that a little bump like a stressful day would change how we felt about Amanda, it doesn't, not any more than it does for our other children when they try our patience. I do not expect my children to always like me or to want to be with me. They shouldn't, and it is perfectly normal. I have been a mother 32 years, there have been many trying times amidst all the joy. I love being a mother.

Please try not to worry about me, about us, we are actually doing well together 95% of the time.

Thank you blog readers and friends for caring about us.

Jamie Yoder

I posted instruction for you for the AZ criminal history clearance at Kara's blog:
http://ukieadoptmom.blogspot.com/ Let me know if you need the forms, you can safely send your email to me by leaving a comment, I just will not post your comment. Sorry to contact you this way, but I had not other way. Kris :o)

Rollercoaster days

Here is one little girl who hates having a bath, well maybe when she gets home she can play with her sisters and discover how fun it truly can be, and she will want to be in there when she finds how hot it can get in Arizona, believe me! She got a lotion massage afterwards and loved it. All clean and ready for bed now, and happy as a lark.

See how tiny she is? The TV is small, about a 19". I wish my waist was smaller like hers though.

Just a cute smile, she had decided to be happy again, but I had to make her eat all of her dinner, I found that if I held her feet while she is in the highchair, she feels more secure and eats better.

Sweet little face, she is all over the place when I try to take her picture, I was meowing and barking to get her to smile. She thought I was just too silly.

Pretty in pink!

Look, no hands. She is trying to stand up, but can't stay up

very long, small steps, she will get there.

She is definitely hyper mobile, no big surprise there, check out her elbows

bending the other way. She looks so pretty here too, don't you think?

Got a call form our agency tonight, they were just checking in with us. It was good to hear their voices, gave me some ideas about a few things, and I am grateful for that.

Tomorrow at 9:00 we go to the passport office to get Amanda's passport, from there we will go to the doctors office to get her immunizations, though I plan on calling the embassy about a waiver, I am worried about her getting three immunizations at her size and right before we travel. I would prefer her see our cardiologist and have a thorough exam by the specialist first.

After the doctors office we are going to the American Embassy to get her visa paperwork started. We should be able to get her IR-3 Visa on Thursday which means we should be able to go home after that, except our tickets are for the 10Th.

We will decide after tomorrow what to do about the tickets. Sounds like we have a busy day though. Better bring some yogurt and fruit for little miss Amanda. I will take an energy bar for me.

We are OK

Did not mean to worry anyone, I supposed all Mom's had days like these?? Maybe not...I know I do!