WOW

I can't believe it, we will be on an airplane and on our way to Estonia next weekend! We will have 2 days to see Tallinn before Amanda's adoption, and Tom can go to the American Embassy and fill out his part of the paperwork, he will leave on the 26th, Amanda and I will stay until the 10th of July.

Ten Great Things About Adopting a Child with Special Needs

From About.com A tongue in cheek look at being a special parent!
Ten Great Things About Adopting a Child with Special Needs

Sure, you're taking on a lot when you adopt a child with identified special needs. And there are plenty of people who will tell you all the hard and bad and worrisome things about that. But here are 10 things you should also consider -- the upside of special-needs adoption. They're shared with a little humor and a lot of heart, just what you'll need to survive as a special-needs parent.
1. No surprises: You know from the start just how bad it might be.
Many parents adopt a child they think is perfectly healthy, only to find out down the road that there are serious problems. Adopting a child with identified special needs lets you hit the ground running.

2. Most special-needs parents don't have social workers coming by with suggestions.
Follow-ups and home visits may seem invasive and unnecessary, but since there's no getting out of them, use them to your advantage. See if you can actually get some useful advice on where to find services and support.

3. No guilt that your personal genes or prenatal

care caused your child's problems.
Skip right over the grief or shame and go directly to getting the appropriate diagnosis and help.

4. Exempt from one-upmanship contests at

adoption agency reunions.
You know those moms: the ones who are so invested in getting a perfect baby that they practically launch into a chorus of "Anything yours can do mine can do better!" You can sit out that competition, smug in your grasp of the important things in life.

5. Stick it to the insurance company!
Think of all the benefits you would have wasted if you'd adopted a healthy child! Might as well take that HMO for everything you can get.

6. If you get to the end of the day and everybody's alive, that was a good day.
Perhaps at one time you had goals for yourself -- exercising, reading, losing weight, getting your offspring ready for a good Ivy League college. Adopt a child with special needs, and your priorities will change for the simpler, pronto.

7. Typical child development? BO-ring!
Most moms just learn about whether to feed a cold or a fever. You'll learn enough to qualify you for a life experience degree in pediatrics.

8. Good chance that your child won't "get it" when people are rude about adoption.
"What happened to his real parents?" "Do you have any children of your own?" People say the darnedest things about adoption, often right in front of your child. If your child has special needs that affect her communication skills, she'll likely remain blissfully oblivious. (You should be so lucky.)

9. People will be under the impression that you're a saint -- HA!
Oh, sure, you'll want to set them straight, and swear that you're the blessee, not the blesser. They won't believe you. If only they knew!

10. Medical bills? Costly. Making a difference in the life of a child? Priceless.
If you want a perfect baby to complete some vision you have of your ideal family ... then, come to think of it, you probably shouldn't adopt at all. But if you want a truly transformative experience that will change you and your child into a new entity altogether -- a real, working, struggling, striving, conquering, all-for-one one-for-all team -- consider adopting a child with special needs. You'll make an enormous difference for your child, and your child will return the favor.

No news is good news

Today should have been the day the board voted on our grant, maybe we will hear tomorrow?

Tomorrow we celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary. We got married on a Tuesday, but this anniversary will be on Friday the 13th! We could sure use an extra special anniversary gift, the news we have been praying for!

Falling in love and Down syndrome

I found this clip from a documentary, it has always been my hope that Meghan would grow up, fall in love, and marry someday. That same hope is there for Kara and Amanda. We should never assume that a cognitive delay means a couple cannot commit to one another for life. This is a touching clip, and I plan on buying the DVD.
http://www.bonnieburt.com/movies/strong-love.html

A gift from the divine heart

Last Friday night I received an email from the grant agency asking for more detailed information about who we would adopt, when we were traveling and how much we have spent so far, their board will be deciding on our grant soon. I took a deep breath and said a little prayer as I filled out the information they had requested. Later that night as was praying before I fell asleep, a dear friend was also praying, we are both mothers and we fall asleep around the same time each night. Like me, she cherishes the quiet time after the family is asleep and the house is still. I usually spend that time writing emails, updating the blog, and praying. She seems to do the same thing, I think a lot of moms are the same.

As we get closer to our travel date, I find I am praying more often for the good Lords help. With the email about our grant on my mind; I asked Him once again to help us and at the same time it came to this very special person that they should help our family by donating more for Amanda's adoption, they have already done so much so it was truly a blessing that they reached out to help once again.

So the next morning when I went to the computer with hopes that there may be a Paypal notice of a donation or some news about our adoption grant, (I know for those of you who have never adopted, this may be hard to understand, but adopting two little ones in less than a year has been a struggle, no matter how much we raise, there is still a sizable amount left to pay our agency and Amanda's Visa, exit medicals, Passport, drivers to and from the airport and taxis if we want to go anywhere at all, translators for court and speaking with the orphanage, etc. We also will need to pay our bills while we are gone and cannot take every cent with us, the girls and their brothers will need food and all the bills we have while home will still be due while we are away. DH will lose 5 days of work this time, no pay. ) Once again I digress, so sorry.

So I went to my inbox and there was an email from this family. In it they said they felt it divine will to help us, and I immediately thanked God (and the family) for this enormous gift as I knew it was an answer to my prayers. The family wishes to remain anonymous, but wanted me to share that they are from our local community and they are hoping it may inspire others here to want to help Amanda come home too.

They have donated $1,000 towards her adoption, actually more, as they donated earlier this year as well, this donation will pay for our apartment in Estonia including our breakfast charges of a now reduced $8.00 a day instead of the $15.00 quoted last week, thank goodness, though we are still bringing breakfast foods with us regardless, DH thinks I should eat breakfast there after he leaves, reducing the cost to $4, yes we are counting every penny. What astonishes me is that we are paying more for the apartment for our 18 day stay than we pay for our mortgage, a total of $1,260 for just the apartments. We have already sent in a 30% deposit to reserve the rooms.

To keep everything clear in my mind, I find it helps me to mark each donation towards a known cost so that I have a idea what we still need. You can see why I am praying for the grant we applied for nearly 3 months ago. We truly need it.

I know it is God's will that we adopt Amanda, but I do not recommend others adopt two children from different countries within a years time. Not only does the child you adopted first deserve that special time with your family, but it is such a financial drain. We are not sorry we went through with both adoptions, and Lord willing, Amanda will be home by the middle of next month. She is a precious little girl and we love her. We want to begin our life with her in our family.

Our airline tickets came Fedex today

One more thing to check off of our list!

Next thing, prayer for some notice soon about our grant.

9 months!

Nine months ago we comitted to adopting Amanda. Wow, so much has happened since then and in less than 3 weeks we travel to adopt our 4th daughter. God is good!

Amanda's return ticket has been purchased

Thanks in part to your donations, thank you blog readers and good friends for your help in purchasing Amanda's one way ticket, total price $1,131.80 . Total airfare was $4,089.60. If you are traveling to Estonia this summer to adopt, expect similar airfare. I would imagine Ukraine and others are similar.

Paying for Amanda's airline ticket left a nervous twitch in my eye, time to take deep breaths and pray. We will get out sweet daughter home, but we need your help. I am humbly asking for your prayers that our grant is approved, thank you all and God bless.

And our winner is...

Stephanie Soper, congratulations Stephanie! Our heartfelt thanks to all of you who entered.

Driving the God Bus Part 2

First of all, I want to thank Gail for sending the following story to me. Gail is a fellow survivor, and she knows the struggles we have after everything we go through to regain what we call "A new normal" I know she also understands me, as she has been an online friend now for almost 5 years.

I know my issues have to do with losing my mother at a young age. When she was sick I was praying to God sometimes every hour and pleading with Him to let her to stay with me. She did not, she could not, and in 1976, she went home to our Lord. For many years I was mad at God, it was all a lie, he did not answer prayers as everyone had said.

I remember after a long conversation with someone about my anger they looked at me and placed their hand on my shoulder and said; " God answered you Kris, he just said no" Like water pouring over me, the anger washed away and I knew this was true, but it was not until I had struggled through my own illness that I felt God with me daily. Through surgeries, reconstruction, and healing and being healthy 5 years, He has been with me.

A Tandem Ride With God

I used to think of God as my observer, my judge, keeping track of the things
I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited heaven or hell when I die. He
was out there, sort of like a president. I recognized His picture when I saw
it, but I didn't really know Him.

But later on, when I met Jesus, it seemed as though life was rather like a
bike, but it was a tandem bike, and I noticed that Jesus was in the back
helping me pedal. I didn't know just when it was He suggested we change, but
life has not been the same since I took the back-seat to Jesus, my Lord. He
makes life exciting. When I had control, I thought I knew the way. It was
rather boring, but predictable. It was the shortest distance between two
points.

But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and
through rocky places and at break-through speeds; it was all I could do to
hang on! Even though it often looked like madness, He said, "Pedal!" I was
worried and anxious and asked, "Where are you taking me?" He laughed and
didn't answer and I started to learn to trust. I forgot my boring life and
entered into adventure. And when I'd say, "I'm scared", He'd lean back and
touch my hand.

He took me to people with gifts that I needed, gifts of healing, acceptance
and joy. They gave me their gifts to take on my journey, our journey, my
Lord's and mine. And we were off again. He said, "Give the gifts away;
they're extra baggage, too much weight." So I did, to the people we met, and
I found in giving I received, and still our burden was light.

I did not trust Him, at first, in control of my life. I thought He'd wreck
it, but He knows bike secrets, knows how to make it bend to take sharp
corners, jump to clear high rocks, fly to shorten scary passages. And I am
learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places, and I'm beginning to
enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with my delightful constant
companion, Jesus.

And when I'm sure I just can't do any more, He just smiles and says...
"Pedal."

(Author unknown)