When I think about where Amanda was a little over a week ago and how well she is doing considering that, I am amazed at her ability to accept change. Monday June 23 she was taken from her only home and given to complete strangers, her life as she knew it was changed forever. She did not know we wanted to take her home to give her a life with a loving family, sisters and brothers to play with, or a school to attend. She just knew her beloved caregivers were gone.
I have to keep reminding myself that she does not know me. I dreamed about her, grew to love her little face, and she has been a part of my life for almost 10 months now. Yet I knew nothing of who she truly was. Still, I felt like I knew her when I saw her grumpily eating her last meal at the orphanage! That little face all scrunched in displeasure should have been a clue that Miss Amanda has an eating disorder of some kind. (no I don't mean anorexia or anything like that)
I wrote what I did in the blog today because I was trying to be true to our journey by reporting how we feel during it. I have read blogs where everything is coming up roses, believe me, they leave out a lot in them, adoption journeys have ups and downs, sometimes a lot, sometimes all in one day. Sure I have only adopted two times, but I think that I have talked to enough adoptive parents to make that statement.
I don't want anyone worrying that a little bump like a stressful day would change how we felt about Amanda, it doesn't, not any more than it does for our other children when they try our patience. I do not expect my children to always like me or to want to be with me. They shouldn't, and it is perfectly normal. I have been a mother 32 years, there have been many trying times amidst all the joy. I love being a mother.
Please try not to worry about me, about us, we are actually doing well together 95% of the time.
Thank you blog readers and friends for caring about us.