I am growing up so fast!

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God Doesn't Make Mistakes

For Amanda

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Just so annoyed with each other

No, I don't want to play with you right now Mommy

From "The King and I"
Getting to Know You

Anna
It's a very ancient saying,
But a true and honest thought,
That if you become a teacher,
By your pupils you'll be taught.
As a teacher I've been learning
(You'll forgive me if I boast)
And I've now become an expert,
On the subject I like most...

Getting to know you!

Getting to know you, getting to know all about you.
Getting to like you, getting to hope you like me.
Getting to know you, putting it my way,
But nicely,
You are precisely,
My cup of tea.

Getting to know you,
Getting to feel free and easy
When I am with you,
Getting to know what to say
Haven't you noticed
Suddenly I'm bright and breezy
Because of all the beautiful and new
Things I'm learning about you
Day by day.

Getting to know you,
Getting to know all about you.
Getting to like you,
Getting to hope you like me.
Getting to know you,
Putting it my way, but nicely,
You are precisely,

My cup of tea.

Getting to know you,
Getting to feel free and easy
When I am with you,
Getting to know what to say
Haven't you noticed
Suddenly I'm bright and breezy
Because of all the beautiful and new
Things I'm learning about you
Day by day.

Getting to know you,
Getting to feel free and easy
When I am with you,
Getting to know what to say
Haven't you noticed
Suddenly I'm bright and breezy
Because of all the beautiful and new
Things I'm learning about you
Day by day.

Getting to know you,
Getting to feel free and easy
When I am with you,
Getting to know what to say
Haven't you noticed
Suddenly I'm bright and breezy

Because of all the beautiful and new
Things I'm learning about you
Day by day.


Getting to know you, getting to know all about you....

Argh, this little girl is driving me bonkers today. I tried some new food with her and she just spit it out and oh the disgusted look on her face. Everything she will not eat Kara attacked with gusto, but Kara also had more meat on her bones and if she did not want something, she would be OK; Amanda is so tiny she looks breakable. I want so urgently to get good food in her little body, but she is having none of it. Mommy is getting so weary of cleaning splatters of food off of the floor as well.

It is not just the eating, but the fits she has thrown today that have me wanting to pull my hair out, so she is in time out and mommy just feels like crying. I can hear her playing again, she sees me, she is not so happy; I wish I knew why she is mad at me? Maybe it was the chicken dinner tried to feed her? Maybe she misses her nanny?

I have to admit that as silly as it seems it hurts my feelings when she pushes away from me or scratches me, the feeling of "But sweetie, I like you" every time she rejects me, followed by "Maybe I don't like you so much after all". I KNOW we have to learn about each other and we will have these things to work through and it is perfectly normal, but oh my, I am just so annoyed with my not so angelic baby today.

Just wanted folks to know, this bonding is not all sweet hugs and kisses, you also have to change the diapers and scrub the floors (me literally several times a day). Those of you who have adopted know there are ups and downs. So for honesty’s sake, today is a really off bonding day for us in Estonia, at least as far as getting along with each other goes.

Time to get my irritated little miss out of her time out, I hope she is happier and calmed down. I need to make dinner, she gets yogurt and bananas (AGAIN), I will make myself something less sweet....I think my concern over Amanda's lack of food choices is upsetting her too. Counting to 10.

Amanda is sitting with me; she seems to feel better now. She really does love that King and I song, it makes her giggle her very sweet giggle.

8 comments:

GoldenAngelsWorks said...

(((((((KRIS and Amanda))))))

We all have those moments of "UGH I want to scream and run away.... or cry because the world and those I love seem to hate me..."

Mine was Sat-Mon.. With the whole family.. hoping today is easier for me.

I pray it will get easier for you both.

This is a major learning experience for the two of you...
Thinking of you both during this time.

Bethany said...

Feeding issues are so hard, but there is only so much you can do, especially with a child who has limited exposure. Bond first, then work on feeding issues. The attachment is most important right now ... feeding can come later. Hoping things get better for you.

Anonymous said...

sorry that you are feeling yucky today. Hopefully all gets better as the day goes on. I am sure she is in a mixed mood today and she may be just testing her limits along with everything being somewhat new.

carol said...

Kris,
I hope tomorrow will be a better bonding day. Hang in there you will soon be home and have help with Amanda.
Your family is missing you as much as you are missing them. Soon you will all be together.
Can the orphanage help you any with Amandas food?
Please know we are all thinking of you and praying for your family.
God Bless
I wish there was more that I could do to help you while you are gone.
carol n

amyl4 said...

Kris,
Caleb refused to eat anything but bread in Russia. The whole week before we left Russia, I had to carry a loaf of bread with me everywhere I went because he wouldn't touch anything else! I felt like the worst mother, reaching in my bag for some bread as I was eating at a restaurant.:( I think back on it now and it is quite comical BUT not at the time. Hang in there!!
Amy

Amy said...

Kris (big hugs to you)

Granted I don't know a lot about attachment parenting or parenting kids with extra but I would think that the stinker part of her is a good thing. Testing limits, trying to figure out how/if she can make you go away is part of being secure and knowing you WONT go away no matter how much stink she puts up!

Hang in there.. there is light at the end of the tunnel :)
Amy from RR

Charlotte said...

What a day !

What a mom !

What a daughter !

Once home maybe you can get some pediasure down her !

Charlotte and crew

MysticBlueRose said...

Time eases all bonding. And this happens sometimes even with natural born children. Amber and I had these days. Praying strength and patience.

My three little girls

My three little girls
Finally got all three to smile at once